Every now and again, a cluster of words will hit me like a lead balloon. I'm usually riveted in the aftermath...at least enough to be inspired. That's pretty much how I end up writing songs. Earlier this evening I was reading a blog by Roger Ebert and in it he was discussing the recent cover story
Esquire magazine did on him. It featured a blown up photo of his distorted face (due to a surgical procedure that removed his jaw). He was very candid about his condition, but mostly he was awakening anyone who read the Esquire piece, to the fact that he was, in fact, very much alive! He also spoke of some harsh words he had Tweeted about Rush Limbaugh when Limbaugh was in the hospital (which he wasn't regretting), and that his wife had said to him, "Did you really have to write all those Tweets about Rush Limbaugh? He's a sick man. What if people had written about you that way when you were in the hospital?" Ebert replied, "That would be their right. Besides, he (Limbaugh) said he was fine." His wife then replied, "And you wouldn't care what they said about you?" This is when the lead balloons fell. Ebert poignantly noted, "Resentment is allowing someone to live rent-free in a room in your head!" Wow! I had to really stop and re-read that a few times...just so it would seep in enough for me to remember. To remember when I'm allowing more than a few rooms to be rented free! I guess the same can be said about other "wasted emotions" like guilt and envy (is envy even an emotion?) So the next time someone does something that really pisses me off, I'm going to think about being the savvy Landlord that I know I can be!!
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Now THIS is a valuable piece!I think that I learned this valuable life lesson about 10 years ago,and my life has been a lot better for it.In my 20s,I was going for my Masters in Psychology to become a psychotherapist.But I realized I didnt have the patience to spend hours or weeks or often years prying old resentments and emotional baggage out of patients' psyches.We all have had parents who did this wrong and that wrong,have had folks in our family who were downright cruel,have had boyfriends or girlfriends that "screwed" us royally.Big shit! In the immortal words of Don Henley in my personal mantra song on the subject,"GET OVER IT!" Yeah,you can tell what a wonderful therapist I would have been,Hah! But I am totally comfortable in my position on the subject,and all MY tenants are paying max rent!
ReplyDeleteI love that you learned this a while ago! Sometimes it takes some of us a bit longer to learn those life lessons. Co-dependency plays an enormous role in this issue... and once we let go of the need to be validated by others, only then can we discover our truest potential! Right on Gary!!
ReplyDeleteA feast of nutritional food for thought here, Donnie.
ReplyDeleteI'll be the first to admit, I am renting rooms free of charge to two tenants I deplore, and who I've not seen, well ok, to be honest, in years!
Donnie, as you so wisely pointed out, co-dependant behavior has a lot to do with it. It no longer mattters who or where I learned that behavior from. What does matter, is that I've allowed disappointments of the past to continue to feed poisonous emotions into my veins. Over the years, I've no doubt wasted valuable time and energy resenting those very individuals who were undeserving of the same. G-d only knows, MY name has not crossed the minds of either of the two.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm going to run now, and change the locks on the doors to those two apartments I've been renting free of charge. I don't want to stink up the neighborhood any more than it's already been. Eviction is in order.
I love this Dana! I love it because, what I had intended on sharing with this piece has already begun to manifest itself with a few others who have read the article as well. Who knew the process was so simple? As always, the answers are right there in front of us, but somehow we get distracted by our ego and that prevents us from being near-sighted! I'd also like to make mention that your time is never wasted. This is where it gets tricky! Resentment is definitely in par with the other emotions not worth harvesting, i.e., jealousy, guilt, etc., but we experience them for a reason; which I believe, is so that we can recognize the impact of how they physically and emotionally remove us from our greatest potential. Being aware of those toxins, we will hopefully replace them with the wisdom of their counterparts: compassion,understanding and other more productive ways to deliver our messages so that when it is time for an eviction, it's just as important to remember that you send these tenants on their way with your blessings...or else, the pattern will simply keep repeating itself! A "Thanks for stopping by!" will serve you better than, "Now Git... before someone drops a house on you!" :)
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