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I was walking to my apartment last Tuesday evening, and as I always do, I greeted a man who happened to be walking in the opposite direction. Clearly, he had no home. He looked like the actor Jason Lewis, from Sex in the City, and if he didn't have the authentic odor we all try to take a few steps away from that follows one without the luxury of a shower, I would've sworn it was Lewis doing research for a new role. After all, I do live in LA...I said "What's your name?" He answered "Danny." Seeing his condition and without thinking; I just blurted out "Danny! What's going on? What happened?" He looked at me with a genuine smile, paused for a moment and simply said, "I honestly don't know." I didn't hear his answer so much as I felt it. As a singer, it's pretty much the same answer I give to just about everyone who upon hearing me sing always asks, "Why haven't you made it?" My most truthful response, maybe not always with the smile, is said simply, "I honestly don't know." I asked Danny what he wanted and he said "A shower", then added "Oh, and some clean clothes..." I said "Well, I can get you some clothes, what would you like?" He said very specifically, "a white t-shirt, a pair of underwear, and a sweatshirt if you have one." I asked him to wait on a set of steps and I went inside to get his things. A few minutes later, I handed Danny the bag, which ironically was a 'gift bag' from some swanky party I'd attended. I said "You got one of my favorite sweatshirts in here Danny! Wear it well! And there's also some shampoo, deodorant, conditioner and soap for whenever you find that shower."
It was a brief encounter, these two ships in the night, but a genuine connection. I was with a kindred spirit, perhaps a reflection of my own self -- and when I hugged him goodbye, it didn't matter to me how bad he smelled, which he did. I felt in that moment, I was hugging God.
We walked our separate ways, and before going back into my apartment, I wiped a tear from my eye knowing I'd never forget him. I may never really know why I'm here, or what it all means in "the Big Picture," but I do know I will always treasure that moment.
It only dawned on me after the fact that it was the night before St Patrick's Day, and his name was Danny.
So whenever I find myself wanting to take a few extra steps away from that odor that visits those temporarily less fortunate, I hope I will take a step or two closer.
And should anyone ever ask why I would step closer to someone others would step away from, I hope I'll be able to smile as genuinely as "oh, Danny boy" did, and simply say:
"I honestly don't know."
Reprinted from the Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jimmy-demers/oh-danny-boy_b_512512.html#postComment
We're always being tested...whether it's by "the man upstairs" or by our own conscience. In many ways, I think your answer to the question people often ask, "Why haven't you made it?" lies within your post. "Making it" is as subjective as "Not making it." The person you helped would certainly view you as having "made it." We are where we are, because ultimately...that's we're we need to be...in order to find our destiny...our purpose. It's pretty ironic that this situation happened to you, when a few years ago I was waiting at a red light on Sunset to cross over to Amoeba Music. Against the street light was a young, disheveled and pungent man, probably in his twenties.
ReplyDeleteI did what everyone would do in my situation...I avoided eye contact and prayed for the light to turn green (I'm not good at holding my breath). I found my eye drifting like it had been hit with a sudden bout of Bells Palsy! I wanted to look at the homeless kid. Peripherally I could see he had long, dirty (and I mean that in both senses of the word) blonde hair in dreads. Then I heard, "Can I have a hug?" My heart started beating so fast I thought THAT alone would make the light turn green. But alas, it did not and I was forced to face this destiny. I gave him both eyes...and as he looked back, he opened his arms and smiled, almost asking, "Please?" At that moment, I felt like an angel was looking at me.
I could feel my eyes start to swell and low and behold...I hugged him. That embrace was so tight; every bit of his pain ran through my body. When he let go, the light was green. He smiled and said, "Thanks for that!" The cynic would check for his wallet, or watch or whatever else he/she's protecting...but being that I'm in a wheelchair, and a power one at that, the level of difficulty taking that would be enormous. I realized in that moment I was being tested... and so was he. That's why, when you tell this story...I can't help but think... there are no coincidences. In many ways Jimmy... we may have been hugging ourselves...and that's something everyone should do every now and again! Okay, so who's the friend with the five houses and why aren't we living in one of them?
Well said Gary! I agree. David Pomeranz is a talented writer indeed. Although I'm only familiar with one song, that song has stayed with me (in memory) since my friend Mark told me back in 1986 that it was something I "had to hear" - a song called, "(It's In) Everyone of Us". Just beautiful. As my dad has always said, success is how you feel inside. If you feel good...than you're successful. If you don't, than you have some work ahead of you! :)
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